Resourceful henchmen

Lying is a bad thing, read my words and follow my advice. It’s not like I do it myself pretty often, but let’s just say that the chronicles of my adventures were a bit... edited. I thought at the time that there were a few events that I rather people not know about, they are a bit embarrassing, at least the first one because it involves yours truly directly. Who am I? If you are reading this you already know, in fact teaching the story of my life should be a pivotal subject in schools, if not I’ll make sure it is. A few briberies here and one fireball or two should do the trick. Not that I approve of that, but it’s important to be resourceful you see.
What? You still don’t know who am I? For real? Doesn’t the name Lina Inverse ring a bell? The scourge of evildoers, the beautiful and skilful sorceress, that’s me! The one and only! Among my few humble feats is saving the world some times, fighting demon lords, learning forbidden spells that could destroy existence as we know it...the usual! And I’m still a young girl looking for her prince charming! And no, Gourry doesn’t count; even if at times he’s almost bearable...
But I’m letting myself being carried away. If you are reading this is because I decided to share my story without any secret. You see, the five situations you are going to read all revolve around something that is a bit odd, and may even look unfitting of someone as charming and beloved as me. What do these stories have in common? If you are a smart reader you’ll notice in no time. Hint: it’s really a laughing matter.
Let’s start with the first one, with me at the centre. I think it’s the most interesting, obviously because of her wonderful protagonist. Oh, and all of them involve girls for some reason. A bit unfair if you ask me, but it’s not like we had a saying in the matter. Except for the last one...I’m already shivering just to imagine the scene.

After having done all introductions, our story takes us almost to the beginning of my adventures. Just a few days after I met that jellyfish of a brain that is Gourry, I was carrying with me the spoils of one of my ‘cleaning session’. I’m very thoughtful with society and I like to teach bandits a lesson from time to time, as well as confiscating their treasures. I only do that for their own good, to show everybody how dangerous greed can be. No need to thank me for the service!
But as I was saying, I had with me what a group of bandits kindly handed over so I could sell, mostly old relics, to later spend it on good meals. See? I’m a kind soul, those cooks deserve their earning and my stomach must be always filled with deliciousness! Unfortunately, this shady guy called Zelgadis appeared at the door of my inn’s room offering me a deal for an item I got. Man, those bandits sure made a mess. Things didn’t go as planned and my guts told me not to trust that man. At the time, now Zel is a great ally of mine, I hope he never reads this...
Let me tell you something though, being a girl sometimes is a bother, not that I can compare, I’ve never became a man and I’m not planning to anytime soon. If you are cute like me, guys will fall for you, any preys, I mean, assailants will lower their guard and make it easy for you to help them lighten their belongings. I also care for their backs; much gold in your sack is bad for the body. Still, there are some issues, like ‘that time of the month’, when you can’t use magic and you become defenceless, very inconvenient.
And that’s exactly what happened: Gourry and I got separated; Zelgadis ambushed me and easily defeated me as soon as he noticed I wasn’t on top form. After that...

“I should burn you alive for your insolence, little girl!” yelled Zolf unpleasantly close to my face so I could smell his stinky breath even under the bandages covering all over his body.
“How cute, are you that lonely that you want a mummy friend to play with?” I replied not in the least affected snickering at the way Zolf clenched his fist impotently. In retrospective I feel a bit bad for the man, knowing that it was my fault he got hurt all over his body and was wrapped up in bandages. But this is the bread and butter of wizardry: if someone casts a fireball step out of the blast’s range; don’t just do whatever you are doing, it’s never more important than running for your life!
Nevertheless, Zolf, who wasn’t alone, had all the reason to be angry: both he, Dilgear and Noonsa were at the limit of their patience. They all served as Zelgadis’ henchmen, who I later knew he pretended to work for Rezo the red priest, and after the initial subtle approach failed, they were decided to interrogate me about the whereabouts of a little statue I took from the bandits’ hideout. Them again! Should I knew I would have left them be! Good thing I gave it to Gourry. Which in turn had this trio of morons determined to torture me until I gave in.
How adorable, when your sister is a monster in the disguise of Flare Dragon Ceifeed's knight, anything done to you after her ‘trainings’ is nothing! Zolf, who was in charge of the interrogation, first asked Dilgear, half golem, half werewolf, to rape me. Which he declined stating that ‘I wasn’t his type, that if at least I was a goblin...’ I still don’t know whether to feel relieved or angry at that. Right after, Noonsa, a hideous fishman, was ordered to give me a kiss. And let me tell you, what he understood for kisses was gross. All of my head was covered in saliva when he put all of it inside of his mouth. Then, the last thing was Zolf himself attacking me where it hurt the most: he insulted me while I was gagged. I’m the most humble girl in the world, but I can’t stand anyone trash-talking to me while I remain silent.
That almost made me give to the torture, but I managed to resist, somehow.
“This is taking us nowhere. Tell us where the statue is or...”
“Or what, you will run out of stupid things to do?” I interrupted cockily.
“Playing nice will be over, we will hurt you starting right now!” menaced the mummy man unsheathing his sword. I tried to look defiant, but if they wanted to get real nasty I would be in trouble and healing magic has never been my forte. I had to pretend to be unaltered.
“Up to now you were original” his sword sliced the air and got dangerously close to my nose, “But this is just too cliché. Besides, pain won’t help you at all. If you think you can break me with that you are as stupid as you look. Seriously, if you met my sister you’d know a little sword is nothing. Just don’t make me laugh!”

I regret now having said that. Something in Zolf’s only visible eye, the other was hidden under the mummy costume, sparked when I uttered those words.
“Hmm, that is quite the suggestion, girl” without further ado, he began circling me. I forgot to mention I was tied to the ceiling, hanging from my wrists, which were tied. My legs were free, meaning I could easily kick him if I wanted, but I thought better not to. I was intrigued about what he would do next.
“Indeed, this dungeon is so gloomy. We all need a laugh, especially you!” having said that he did something I couldn’t believe at the time. He pinched my hips. I wasn’t expecting this so I couldn’t help but to yelp at the pressing feeling of his gloved fingers digging at the kind of chubby flesh there. I can withstand pain in almost any way, but that sensation, it’s something I’ll never be able to bear.
Needless to say, Zolf noticed his new approach worked in his favour.
“Just as I imagined...” having said this, he swung his sword with awe-inspiring skill. I closed my eyes thinking he wanted to slice me into pieces. Yet, when I opened them, noticing coolness in my stomach and underarms I blushed before letting the anger take over.
“What do you think you are doing, you pervert?! This is my favourite clothing!” the mummy had opened a hole in each of my sleeves, showing the flesh of my tender exposed armpits and turned my shirt into a top by removing anything under my breasts. My entire tummy was exposed. And one didn’t need to be a genius to know what would come next. Dilgear and Noonsa stared dumb folded, not knowing what to make of what was about to happen.
Let me tell you something. Being tickling is one of my few weaknesses. Luna, among the many things she would do to me if I misbehaved would make me do abdominal curls while she hung me upside down. The problem was that she always brought a ladder, removed my shoes and tickled the soles of my feet until I finished the number of curls she asked, which always went by the thousands. And she wouldn’t stop even if I was breathless, one day we spent a whole night with this practice. It’s not something I’d like to repeat, and these goons had tied me up while Zolf wriggled his fingers across my soft tummy?! That I couldn’t stand.
“Stop it, dahahahaham it!” I yelled while kicking the man behind with so much luck that my right heel hit his groin. He immediately bent on the ground whirling in pain.
“You’ll pay for this!” he said menacingly. I was about to give him a witty reply when his hand began to glow. Out of nowhere, feathers materialised, glowing eerily in a blue aura and approached to my exposed skin.
“You wouldn’t dare!” I said before I burst into laughter. What kind of spell was that? I mean, who in their right mind would even come up with something as silly?

Silly but useful, one glance was enough to see it affected me. The feathers moved in patterns impossible for me to predict: some would waddle up and down; others in circles. The problem was that they were many and always found a sensitive spot. Be it the underarms, my sides, belly button or hips; nothing was safe. I was trashing around, laughing, trying to cope up with the sensations when something even more terrible happened.
Remember when I said that Luna would tickle my feet for hours? They are positively my worst spot. If it wasn’t for the feathers making me laugh I would have turned pale when Zolf pronounced the following words.
“Dilgear, grab this girl’s ankles. Noonsa, remove her boots and give her a good kiss in the feet. No matter what she says, she will go out with you the more you kiss her, the proof is that she’ll laugh like a banshee” having said that, the duo wasted no time into following the directions given. I tried to resist, but even if my magic worked Dilgear was stronger than me, and being tickled didn’t help to maintain my strength that abandoned me by the second the more the feathers caressed my skin. Before I could do anything against it my boots had abandoned me. I wriggled my feet as much I was allowed, trying to pull them away but it was useless. Noonsa opened his mouth and then...
I take back what I said about my sister. I’d let her tickle me as much as I wanted as long as I never have to deal with that again. I was unable to see anything below my ankles; they were trapped within the cavernous mouth of the fish man. It was warm and wet, enough to give you the creeps. But when the ‘kissing’ started that’s when I lost it; what he understood for a smooch was to drag his tongue across the soles of my feet. Which were very sweaty and tired from having to deal with followers all day. Needless to say, the bottom of my feet felt extremely sensitive, something that didn’t add well with the tongue that slowly lapped at them, starting at the heels.
“Ahahahahaha!!! Once I’ve get out of this you are all deahahahad! Stuhuhuhupid fish! I’m going to make a barbecue out of youhouhuhuhu! Stop it! Don’t lick meheheheahahahaha!!” no matter what I said. Judging from Noonsa’s expression my feet must be tasty because he ignored my threats and continued sliding his tongue until he reached my poor toes. There’s no way to describe how it felt. I was unable to pronounce any coherent word after that.
If that wasn’t enough the more time it passed, both the tongue and the feathers increased their speed. It was the worst moment of my whole career! I never felt this embarrassed and powerless. But above all, I laughed and laughed. Blush, tears, sweat and saliva, both coming out of my mouth and Noonsa’s for different reasons though, covered my skin. If it continued I couldn’t remain sane for long.

To make things worse, I later learned that Zelgadis, who was waiting for an opportunity to help me escape as he actually was at odds with Rezo, brought a palm to his face as he saw his henchmen torturing me.
“Won’t they give up?” thought the exasperated magician while I was laughing my guts out. Why didn’t he help me immediately?! Those morons continued tickling me until I passed out. Sure, I didn’t tell them the location of the statue but... Never again! If someone touches me like that again I’ll kill them. Even if it’s my sister!

PS: Somehow my sister got word of this document. She sent me a letter saying she misses the old times and that she would like to have another training session with me, that my abs could use some workout... Is there any spell to make your feet go numb? If not I’m going to have a bad time. When she was a kid Luna had some compassion, but now? I’m not so sure...

Just one week after I finish the bundle for he asked me for another one, this time it stars the girls of one of my favourite series evers: Slayers! As you could see a week ago here Should Have Gone With The Kiss, this project couldn't start with anyone but for Lina Inverse herself, if we picked someone else she'd throw a fireball at us and those are really painful!

Lina Inverse and all of the characters mentioned are copyrigthed by Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi.

Funfacts:
-Somehow what I thought it would be an easy pose ended up not being so.
-I initially thought about Lina having her body straightened while her knees were bent so that Noonsa was behind her 'kissing' her feet. But I thought I could do that with another gal of the bundle.
-I must say that since I first saw this scene in the series, I was around 10, by the way, I always fantasized with the villains tickling Lina. It seems I finally had my way.
-Why the torn clothing? It's hard to work with Remir, he always wants tummy tickling, so I have to understand how the clothing works and opens it. But I also wanted some variety, so...
-Zel is one of my favourite male characters in the series, that's why he makes a cameo here.
-The story is written from Linda's perspective as an homage to the original novels. The rest will be like this too!