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Foolish foolery fool predicament

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MAY 15, 10:00 AM
DISCTRIC COURT
DEFENDANT’S LOBBY No. 2

“My life’s over. I’m telling you! Over, completely over! I’ll end up in jail and I won’t last there more than a week. I know what they do to guys like me. I’ve seen it in a movie!” The guy who is never aware of his surroundings is my friend Larry Butz. I understand his situation isn’t the best, but being a bit conscious wouldn’t hurt. Everybody is staring at him...
“What movie was that Mr. Butz? Was it any good?” And the girl who of course plays along without noticing is my ‘associate’ Maya Fey. Even though I do most of the work and all the taxes fall onto me; not to mention she ever pays for our meals. I should rethink our partnership, but maybe at another time.
“Oh, it’s a very good movie, it’s about...”
“Can we focus?” I interrupt their fascinating conversation by clearing my throat. “There’ll be plenty of time for cinema forums later on.”
“You’re no fun, Nick.” Maya pouts and calls me by my nickname. Almost nobody calls me by my first name, Phoenix, most refer to me by my surname, Wright, but people tend to be polite when addressing an attorney like me.
“There won’t be any other chances. It’s over. I’m going to be declared guilty!” And here’s Larry going on again.
“Have some dignity; don’t cry in public like that, you are not a baby!” I say back.
“Mr. Butz,” suddenly blurts Maya, “why don’t we reassess our current situation? Can you tell us once again why you are being sued?” I must say I’m impressed. There are times when the girl can be as professional as any good lawyer. At moments like this she reminds me of her elder sister. Although Maya has a more childish air around her.
“Sure thing Maya!” Larry’s tears disappear as quickly as Maya chomps a double bacon cheeseburger. “It’ll do me good to exercise my memory!” By the way Maya nods, I bet my lawyer badge she forgot the details. “I recently got this new job you see, cleaning some office where they do accounting and important stuff I don’t really understand. And then, there’s this really cute boss I got. She’s a killer, I tell ya Nick!” Why is he giving me the thumbs up? “So one day I’m cleaning as best as I can, and I notice my boss lady complains that her feet hurt and she asks me if I could rub them for a bit. Me, as the gentleman I am, I’m happy to oblige and then...”
“Wow, you can do foot massages?” Maya speaks with a look of complete astonishment on her face.
“Well, yeah. Ladies love them, so I learned to give them. I don’t even tickle at all!” That is an admirable trait but I don’t think it has anything to do with our case. Sometimes I regret agreeing to help Larry out of his problems with justice, which are more common than I’d prefer.
“Amazing, I never had one.” Maya is looking at me dead serious. Why is she looking at me? “Nick, I want a foot massage!”
“Then go find a SPA, because I’m a lawyer, massages aren’t my forte.” I reply ignoring the disappointed expression Maya makes.
“You only had one job...” She grumbles.
“Don’t worry Maya. When this is over I’ll give you one massage so nice you’ll find it hard not to fall asleep!” I can’t believe Larry was the opposite a moment ago. I guess I should be happy about his sudden outburst of optimism but...
“Really? Nick, we have to win this case no matter what!” Exclaims Maya clenching her fists. I’m happy someone is getting a reward after this, because I don’t think Larry will be able to pay for my salary.
“Anyway,” I say, “then what?”
“We go to her office, I give her that massage and suddenly she starts screaming and next thing I know I’m fired and she sued me for sexual harassment! Who could have thought someone that attractive could be evil?” I’m glad Larry’s judgement over people isn’t what’s being judged today.
Nonetheless it takes me a moment to collect my thoughts and give an answer.
“I don’t think this case will be hard. I imagine the reasons for that woman to set you up. Didn’t you mention you were a bit clumsy at cleaning during your stay at that office?” The way he averts his eyes gives me the reply Larry won’t. “She probably wanted to get rid of you without having to give a severance pay. It won’t be hard to prove your innocence...”
“Foolish fools who foolishly dawdle in fooling foolery! Today is the day you lose in the court by my hand, Mr. Wright!” Without having to turn around I can tell who is addressing me. The sound of a whip cracking confirms my fears.
“Von Karma? You are the prosecutor?” I honestly ask, surprised. “Isn’t this case menial for someone like you?”
“Of course it is. There’s no way I would lower myself to a foolish case of this calibre but the chance of obtaining absolute victory over you compensates for that.” Franziska Von Karma, a ruthless prosecutor who never hesitates to do what she must to win a case. This isn’t going to be as easy as I thought.
“I’ll see you in court, Mr. Wright.” She says with a smug face on her. “Prepare to enjoy the bitter taste of defeat.”

No sooner she leaves; my two companions express their opinion at the same time.
“How rude!” Says Maya.
“How cute!” Comments Larry.
“You think so?” Asks the first.
“Yeah,” nods the second energetically, “but someone should put a smile on her face. Then she would be a complete cutie!” Sometimes I’m jealous of Larry’s simplicity, he lives live without worries. I wish I could be the same...
No time to waste, the trial is about to start.

“Court is in session.” The judge’s voice echoes in the noisy court. His familiar and affable visage turns into a frown as he slams his hammer over the table he presides. All voices quiet down immediately. “We are here present for the trial of Mr. Larry Butz alleged for sexual harassment during his last job. How does the defence pledge about these accusations?” The judge turns his hairless head, if we don’t count the fuzzy beard, to me.
“Untrue. My client is innocent and I will prove it!” I’m not sure how, but I rather not let that show. Of course, Von Karma snickers, I’m sure she has more than one trick under her buttoned sleeves.
“Without further distractions the prosecution may call for the first witness. Now, if you might proceed, Miss Von Karma.” The aforementioned vows theatrically when the judge’s eyes fall on her.
“With pleasure, your honour. I call to the stand...”
“Wait a moment, Miss Von Karma.” This is new; I’ve never seen this look in the judge’s eyes. “Are you carrying that whip of yours again?”
“Why, yes I am. Why do you ask so?” And I haven’t seen Von Karma so flustered.
“I will have to ask you to give it to the bailiff. I won’t tolerate weapons in this court.” I can’t believe this, the judge is acting logically!
“Nick, your jaw is wide open.” Whispers Maya. But I can’t help it, this is a first.
“If may be so bold, this isn’t a weapon, but a tool of justice that I’m attached to. It’s not easy for me to part ways from it.” Replies the young prosecutor cracking said ‘instrument’.
“I understand. But bear in mind that you will be penalised if I see you making use of it. Things will change from now on here. I have allowed much unacceptable behaviour already.” Wow, I’m speechless! “Does the defence agree with these terms?”
“Well, as long as she doesn’t hit me with it, I don’t mind Miss Von Karma having her...” PAIN! Unpredicted pain coming to me in form of a slash from that evil whip!
“Foolish fool, who do you think you are to dictate what I must do? I...” I’m still recovering from that strike when the Judge roars and everybody’s blood freezes.
“Miss Von Karma! I already warned you. Hand that whip over unless you want me to expulse you from this very court for flouting!” Threatens the judge.
“What a foolishery! I shall not allow this!” Without thinking it twice, she hits the bald man, well, on his shiny hairless head.
“That’s it! Bailiff, call security and take this woman away! I will suspend you of your prosecuting duties for a month and trial you with the charges of aggression and violence. Guards, away with her!” Before I can understand what’s going on, a group of bulky men manage to go through Von Karma’s merciless whip strikes and take her out the court after cuffing her hands.
“This is an outrage! I won’t accept this foolery! You hear me, I am a Von Karma, upon my name that I...” I can’t hear anything else from her, the court door is slam-shut after the young prosecutor and her escorts abandon the room.
“This court is suspended until a substitute for Von Karma is found.” Says the judge before merely standing up and leaving.  


MAY 15, 12:15 AM
WRIGHT & CO. LAW OFFICES

“Hmmm, this is so nice... Nick, you should have Larry teach you and give me massages like this every day...” Purrs a delighted Maya.
“Do you like it?” Larry asks happy, I guess he enjoys having his skills praised. Maya lazily nods. To be fair, seeing her lying as long as she is over the sofa we have for clients at our office, with that expression of complete relax is kind of soothing. Maya is someone that’s always there when things look dire. Maybe I can try to return the favour if she likes having her small feet pampered. I’ll have to ask Larry to give me some pointers later.
But now there are things that worry me more.
“Today the judge was a bit strange.” More coherent to his position than usual.
“He sure was...” Says Maya, fighting hard to remain awake while Larry works wonders on her soles.
“Good old gramps was?” Larry looks pensive, that’s strange in him. “Maybe our last talk got to him?”
“What talk?” I can’t help but to raise an eyebrow.
“At gym, don’t you know? We are cross fit partners!” Today sure is full of surprises.
“I imagine him doing exercise with his robe and hammer.” Maya snickers. I have to admit it’s not an image that will leave my mind soon.
“We were simply talking about this and that and I pointed out his courts aren’t like the ones you see on movies. That’s all.” Explains Larry.
“Can’t say I disagree with you. I’ve seen...unorthodox things there. But I won’t complain either if it means less whipping for me!” I sincerely state.
“I wonder what will happen to Miss Von Karma...” Says Maya fidgeting over the sofa, getting cosier the more Larry’s fingers caresses her white soles.
I can’t help but wonder though. Whatever the judge decides, I don’t think it’ll be unfair.

MAY 17, 8:54 AM
LOW-SECURITY STATE PRISON
RESIDENTS’ YARD

This is preposterous! I cannot believe I ended up in such a foolish foolery fool predicament. Myself, Franziska Von Karma in jail! What a disgrace!
“Even if it’s for a week that judge will hear the last of me! I’ll have his license revoked I don’t care what I have to do!” I say as I bit the leather glove that covers my right thumb. I hope that judge doesn’t think I’ll thank him for sending me to a low-security prison. There’s no way I’d wear those stripped uniforms!
“But one week here... It’s going to feel like an eternity” I muster while I glance at the yard of this lousy place. Whenever I look I only see criminals, some of them brought here by my own hands. I shouldn’t be here with the likes of them!
“Oh aren’t you, like, that noisy prosecutor that didn’t do her job and got me in jail?” Some of these vermin is talking to me.
“Miss Miney, if recall correctly. I didn’t know you were sent here.” I reply without the least of emotion.
“But you should, like, know, because you, like, were the prosecutor when I was trialled after, like, the cat was out of the bag.” As if I should remember all of the criminals I’ve sent to jail. My only regret is not having gotten a more severe sentence for her. Now I wouldn’t have to be having this conversation if that was the case!
“Why are you still talking, like, your sister?” I can’t help but to give her a sardonic smile.
“Some habits are hard to quit.” This time I see the real colours of this pretended redhead. “Anyway, I just felt like warning you. Even if you are just going to be here for little, I’d take care of not making a scene. The warden has ways to subdue troublemakers.” She says sneering.
“What ways?” I ask, intrigued.
“Oh, you’ll see if you don’t behave. She’ll turn that frown upside down. But don’t, like, tell anybody that I told you. I wouldn’t want to, like, have another cleaning session with her.” With that she leaves. This exchange has been as pointless as my presence here.

My first day in prison somehow ends. I don’t know how I’ll be able to endure six more of these. All of the inmates are pestilent; which of course I didn’t hesitate to express. How foolish of them to give me begrudging looks. It was their fault they ended in jail. My duty was to make sure they ended here!
Wanting to spend a restless night over a most predictable uncomfortable mattress, I go to my cell as indicated by rugged guards.
However, my surprise is immeasurable when I find three people at my room.
“What’s the meaning of this? Who are you?” I demand an explanation to these unwanted strangers. They all wear the guards’ uniforms, but one of them stands out over the rest; a woman of massive height.
“My my, isn’t this the new inmate that everybody is talking about? The prosecutor without scruples that thinks so high of herself.” Says the woman. “I don’t like that. Perhaps you should be taught a lesson in humility.”
“You must be the warden.” I won’t let this woman scare me. “Whatever you are planning on doing, it’s best that you desist. Once I’m out, if you put a finger on me your career is over.”
“Oh, is she threatening me, boys?” Ask the woman sarcastically to her minions.
“She sure is, madam warden!” Bark the two guards.
“That won’t do. But good thing I’m a nice person and I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Instead,” I don’t like the way she’s looking at me, “why don’t we give her some advice on hygiene? We are very meticulous on that...” As they say so, they stand aside and I can see what looks like a pair of wooden stocks resting over my bed. There’s also a basin with water and a bar of soap. What are they for?
“Sure thing, madam warden.” Reply the guards holding me by the arms before I can react. “Should be go for the usual routine?”
“Sure, dusting, washing, rinsing and brushing.” Comments the woman.
“What do you think you are doing?” I complain as they force me over the bed and cuff my hands to the metal bar at its head. “Release me at once!”
“Not until the warden has cleaned you up!” Announced the first one smiling.
“Yeah, now be a good girl and let us secure your legs.” As if I’ll give them that satisfaction!
Unfortunately, they prove to be stronger than me and in seconds my ankles are tightly trapped in the padded holes of that blasted contraption. Never in my life was I this vulnerable!
“And now, let us begin with the dusting.” The warden leans to where my feet are, a click tells me the stocks won’t open until she says so and, to my surprise, she pulls at my boots, having my nylon-clad feet exposed.
“Nice hose, it looks soft and elegant. Too bad it’s in the way.” Before I can pronounce a comeback, I hear a terrible ripping sound. From my perspective I can see the pale skin of my bare feet peeking from the top of the stocks. I have a bad feeling about this.
“Now, we can’t have you moving around too much during the process, can we?” I don’t understand at all. What are they planning? Why are they looping a cord around my big toes and pulling my feet back as they tie the other end to a hook jolted down the stocks? I can’t move my bare feet and it makes no sense!
“Okay boys, you served me well. I’ll spend a long time with this girl here. You can continue with your duties.” The guards nod as they are disclosed. Now I’m alone, tied to a bed with a woman who God knows what she’s planning on doing to me.
“Now, shall we turn that frown upside-down?” From one of her pockets, she produces a white feather. I turn pale as I realise her intentions.
“You can’t be serious!” I say crunching my toes in anticipation. “Stop this foolish foolery and onc... At... Oncehehehe... Ehehe...” This can’t be happening; those girly noises aren’t mine. This woman is definitively not waving that feather up and down my trapped foot. The soft bristles aren’t stimulating my skin at all and I’m not giggling because how ticklish it feels. Not at all!
“I’m serious, but you don’t look like it. Just listen to you giggle. What’s wrong little prosecutor? Can’t handle a small feather?” Someone make her stop! The tickling is maddening, but her teasing is worse! “Too bad because we are just starting. I said it: we are spending a long time every night if you don’t behave. I’ll enjoy cleaning you thoroughly. First the dusting, then the washing and, to end it, some nice brushing.” As she says so, she puts on the bed the basin and takes out a hairbrush filed with pointy yet round end on its bristles. That thing can’t go near my feet, it’ll kill me!

   “AHAHAHA, I’M SORRY! I’LL BE A GOOD GIRL! JUST STOP TICKLING ME AHAHAHAHAHA! NOOOOHOHOHOHO! NOT THE BRUSH! I’M CLEAN ALREADY, I’M CLEAN ALREAHAHAHAHDYHIHIHIIII!!” I can listen to that stupid prosecutor screaming in the distance. The warden is doing a good job on her; she got her pleading very soon. From her yells mixed with guffaws I think she only washed one of her feet.
“Can’t say I envy her.” I say when I look at the ceiling of my room. This woman had it coming. It’s not, like, someone spread word that she was here and ready to cause a commotion. Not at all, that’ be, like, so mean, right?  


Finally found a moment to upload this one. What do be have here? Another urge of mine. Before I went full hermit with the exams I was playing "Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Justice for all" when I got an urge: Franziska Von Karma can step so low that she deserves a punishment! She's so smug and doesn't hesitate to fake evidence and rig witnesses so she can get a positive verdict... So annoying!

Franziska Von Karma and most of the character mentioned in the story are copyrighted by Capcom.

Fun facts:
-The date you see is the date I scanned the picture.
-While I was playing the game I almost yelled at my 3DS. There's a moment when Franziska says "are you implying the witness is lying?" EVERYBODY F*CKIGN LIES IN THIS SAGA WHEN ON THE STAND!
-I've always liked her design and had the impression I'd end up drawing her tickled.
-I tried something different with the soap bubbles and I think it turned out well.
-I didn't write any single "Objection" in the story...

As always, if you like this, consider showing your support  by buying me a coffee

Moustache variant here.
Image size
2324x1433px 2.35 MB
Mature
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